Just one more week

Only 1 week left until Christmas.. yaay ^__^

Not done with my Christmas gifts yet.. Still have a lot more to buy.. And I'm kinda broke..

Yesterday I ate breakfast at 11 am.. after that.. bam bam bam customers rushed in.. I was done with my last customer at 10.20 pm.. Between 11 am and 10.20 pm I worked without taking any breaks. I was soooo hungryand so tired...

Today is supposed to snow a lot.. I actually wish for a white Christmas this year.. but I hate that it's so cold..

Tomorrow we open at 8 am and close at 10 pm.. the working days are getting longer and longer..

For now there are only 250$ in my piggy bank.. trying to save my best friend some money to pay half of her ticket.. She lives in Sweden, don't want her to pay everything herself.. I love her to death <3

A trashy morning

It's wednesday already.. This morning me and my sis had to take care of that damn pile of trash that someone left behind before we moved in.. It was heavy as h***.. and MUD in the container?!?! wth.. Bricks, tiles and stuff you can't even name were in our container.. We had to pluck up the trash hand by hand.. my hands were cold.. no gloves.. we had to scoop up the mud without a showel.. We didn't have time to finish since we had to get to work in time... today we opened at 9 am and close at 10 pm.. It's gonna be like that the rest of this year.. I think there are some days we open at 8 am..

Relieved

I can't describe how relieved I am right now... The stress is over.. I had so much pressure.. But I passed.. Thank you all for the support I got <3

Drinking Glögg in my living room.. tired.. so I'm going straight to bed right now..

I went shopping after work.. I bought a black Puma sweater, a skirt, a pink top, a beige and white striped sweater.. a plain tank top and a christmas gift for my sister..

Good Night..

Worried

I'm so nervous.. I feel like I can throw up..
Tuesday will determine everything.

Graduated 2009

Class NV3C

My natural science class

Autumn in my heart

Even though it's winter season.. Autumn has always been my season.. I love Autumn and all the memories it's been providing me..

Autumn

Looking through the window on a cloudy autumn day

Wishing you were here and forever you will stay

Birds are flying south to reach their goal, their destination

While I'm confused with my intensive frustration

Thinking of the past as I'm lying on my bed

Lying here alone with the chrystal tears I shed

I lost my belief to all the dreams I had

Everything I believed in, let me down and made me sad

Beautiful leaves become colored, as they're falling down

From green to yellow, orange, and brown.

The cold windy weather comes with sorrow and pain

Wiping off the happiness with the diamond shaped rain

I follow the movements from the trees to the ground

Then take my last breath and never again make a sound.

Uggs for Uglies

My sister bought me a pair of Uggs last week. They are so comfortable.. feels like I'm walking on clouds.. and they keep me so warm.. Thx sis!

Happy B-day J

Happy Birthday to my dear friend Jennica!!

Just got ready for work.. It's so coooold!!

Yesterday after work me and my sis were invited to Lim's (my sister's boyfriend) house. His parents just came back from VN. It was nice seeing his mom again. We've all missed her!! We ate and sang some Karaoke..

Tonight I have to see my uncle.. I wonder if he and his wife are still in the hospital.. They gonna have another baby =D

Bye for now <3

...

I am a human being, and I do have feelings.. just because I don't show my weaknesses doesn't mean that I don't care.. I must say I dislike people who think they know what I'm doing, what I'm thinking and what I feel.. Yes I am afraid.. I am scared.. There is this one thing I like to do when I don't know what to do anymore.. I like to run away.. I keep running and running until everything is out of my sight.. Happy? No.. Unhappy? No..

I am somewhat in a phase where I don't know if my actions are right or wrong anymore.. I know I made a decision which changed my life from what I imagined it a few years ago.

When I find a little bit of happiness it's suddenly wrong.. I can't show my laughter, my smile around people? Should I drag my surroundings down just because I am so damn miserable? No, of course not.. that's why I am trying every single day to not show what I feel.. The only way of doing it is to write down my thoughts.. If I'm writing to much of how I feel I'm suddenly called fake.. I can't tell you how I feel.. I don't know if it would make it to the better or to the worse... stop judging me..

Exhausted

It's almost midnight.. I've been working hard today.. Working is the only way to keep me from being sad.. I love what I'm doing and I love the support from my customers..

Never thought that the adult life would feel like this.. that working is actually fun.. But in the end of the day you feel so exhausted and lonely.. The same routine every single day.. waking up, making myself a cup of coffee.. brushing my teeth and get ready for work.. - Going home, clean a little, taking a shower, watching TV, maybe eat and sleep..

Working 7 days a week doesn't give me much of a free time... I want to draw again.. I want to take pictures.. I want to explore the world.. get to experience stuff I've never experienced before..

I'm trying to step forward and not look back.. I hate to feel.. I wish I had no feelings.. Cause without feelings you can't feel pain... But that wouldn't make me a human being.. Pain can also be considered as something beautiful.. For me pain makes me feel alive.. It proves that I actually exist..