I've been sick lately.. And I've been working really hard.. Moreover I forgot how important it is to smile.. Instead of smiling and laughing, I've been crying for myself.. it is hard to hold it in so it's better to just let it out.. I have to put myself back together and try to get over this depressing feeling which is trying to conquer me..
It sucks to feel sorry for yourself.. I hate doing that cause I feel so spoiled and selfish, which I'm not (or hope I'm not).. There are so many people who have it worse than me... I should be happy.. I am in a way.. But it feels like I've been missing out something important in my life..
I chose this pattern and so I will fulfill it.. One day I'll be happy, happier than anyone on this earth.. it's just that the steps to happiness is long and have a lot of barriers on it's way.. I have to find a way to break down the barriers and move on to the next step..
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