Nerveux...

I'm so nervous down to my core... It's getting near...

btw.. I just bought the navy blue/black dress in the back for a wedding in Atlanta.. it's not until November though.. Hope I'll still fit the dress cause right now it fits perfectly... But I need to make it shorter.. Wish my mom was here to fix it for me.. cause I've forgotten all my sewing techniques..

When you smile, my heart aches...

My heart is at a stage where I can't tell right from wrong anymore.. I'm in pain.. I make people in pain.. Sometimes I miss the old time.. Sometimes I wish the time could fly by faster.. I'm very easy to please.. But I also ask for to much...
How can someone accept me when I can't even accept myself? I'm aching..
My future is based on the decisions I make.. There's one decision that will determine my whole entire life.. I can't go back once I've decided.. I'm scared of the outcome..

Dulcet

I must say I'm very blessed to have such wonderful people around me.. I wish I could do anything in return .. But I can't... It's hard to explain what I'm going through.. I hope everything will straighten out itself..

Yesterday was a hectic day for me.. I didn't eat anything until 7 pm because I didn't have time.. It was way to busy.. The stress just got me bad.. After I dinner I took a nap.. I didn't feel good at all..

Luckily I feel much better.. But I'm so nervous and anxious..

Every rose has it's thorns

There's a beautiful rose standing out from all the other roses.. You will reach out to pluck it.. by the time you touch the rose you'll realize it's full of thorns.. You have to remind yourself the thorns are not the one hurting you..

Friday

Yesterday was a long day for me.. it never ended.. Usually Thursdays are my busiest appointment day.. Friday and Saturday are only walk-ins for me - the craziest days of the week.. I have to deal with hot headed customers.. rushing from one to another..

In the end of the day everything seems fine.. But inside of me I don't really know.... It's the same story everyday..

One of my employer have to quit.. he has to move to an another state for some personal reasons.. So now everything makes me more stressed than what I already am.. And it's Friday.. it makes a big difference when you are one person short.. *sigh*

I wish a prince could just kidnap me away and let me live happily ever after.. But things aren't that easy.. Nothing is easy.. not even from day one.. U have to fight to survive.. U have to prove to yourself and other people that you are strong and not let them see your weakness..... U will hear people talk bad about u.. u will see jealous people trying to bring you down.. The more u ignore them the more they want your attention.. Just give it a laugh and live on.. There are more angels around you than devils..

House Party

Yesterday after work I just finished eating.. and then suddenly I saw my aunt calling.. She said come over to Lan's place we are waiting on u, it's her birthday.. *click* (she hung up)

uhm... There were no second choices for me.. So I guess I had to get ready quick and go over there..

I thought they were just having dinner or so.. but it turned out to be a party -.- I was not prepared for that at all..

Me and my auntie in my invisible heels ;P

Self-centered

GOING TO WORK!!!

Labor day

Yesterday after work I went to Boone to celebrate my little cousin Kevin's 13th birthday... I had 10 minutes to get ready when I got home.. thank God I'm not a person who takes forever to get dressed lol..

The drive was faster than I thought.. it's about 2h to get there.. but it didn't feel like it.. Now I have to go to work..... Wish I didn't have to because it's labor day!!!

Work

Just gonna throw in a quick entry before heading to work.. I miss my family so much =( wish they were here.. Today is Saturday.. another day to work my butt off.. And I just figured out that Tarte's mascara is so far the BEST Mascara I've encountered. it really does what it promise.. And I only got a sample of it =( have to buy me one whenever I'm running out of mascara..

Later!!!

Random night thoughts

Another day has passed.. I feel like I've become weaker.. and I have absolutely no control over how to deal with my feelings right now.. I'm just so confused... and the anxiety inside of me just keeps growing..

Just random thoughts I've been having for a very long time..

Human beings are getting smarter every day... we think that we get smarter as the years passes by.. But have you ever thought of that we might have been more intelligent once before? and something happened to the earth and vanished the human kind? maybe the earth recreated itself and we started over as cave people who had no clue of anything?

To me it's a great possibility that the human kind has once been super intelligent.. Think of how we created the pyramids.. Huge and enormous stone blocks stacked on top of each other to build a pyramid so precisely and perfect WITHOUT today's technology.. how is it even physically possible? The same goes for the great wall of China..

I believe that the Egyptians might have possessed a technology that has been lost through the ages.. Even if they were able to stack those stone block on top of each other.. how did they cut through the stone?

2012 is coming.. I don't think that it's the Domesday.. But I believe that one day we won't exist no more.. and our technology and intelligence will be lost and buried.. and maybe a new generation will be created.. I wish that those people never encounter the evilness..