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I am a human being, and I do have feelings.. just because I don't show my weaknesses doesn't mean that I don't care.. I must say I dislike people who think they know what I'm doing, what I'm thinking and what I feel.. Yes I am afraid.. I am scared.. There is this one thing I like to do when I don't know what to do anymore.. I like to run away.. I keep running and running until everything is out of my sight.. Happy? No.. Unhappy? No..

I am somewhat in a phase where I don't know if my actions are right or wrong anymore.. I know I made a decision which changed my life from what I imagined it a few years ago.

When I find a little bit of happiness it's suddenly wrong.. I can't show my laughter, my smile around people? Should I drag my surroundings down just because I am so damn miserable? No, of course not.. that's why I am trying every single day to not show what I feel.. The only way of doing it is to write down my thoughts.. If I'm writing to much of how I feel I'm suddenly called fake.. I can't tell you how I feel.. I don't know if it would make it to the better or to the worse... stop judging me..