Haven't been blogging lately.. Thursday was Thanksgiving. I had a great time, we ate, ate and ate!! Me and my sister didn't cook anything lol.. We invited a few people to our house.. played some Wii.. then at 9.15 pm we went and saw Ninja Assassin :D

After the movie we went back to our place, ate more and played some more Wii.. I guess Thanksgiving for American people is a day you eat all day long..

Today my sister bought me a pair of Uggs from Journeys.. They are so comfy ^__^ I also bought 2 pair of Jeans, 1 long sleeve top and 1 skirt.. Everything from forever 21.. They gave me a water bottle for free.

waiting

sitting here in my house.. waiting for the internet-cable guys to come and fix the internet and the tv for us.. and they're not here!! they supposed to come at 9.30.. and I can't go nowhere.. hungry, but the reachable things I can find are snacks?! chips, cookies, candies.. funny.. I have no internet and nothing to watch on the TV.. I better unpack some stuff from the 126384950 boxes.. my sister is going to pick me up to work later..

Back to work

I'm back to work.. It's been a while since I worked.. Almost a week now.. I feel so bad not working.. Still not completely recovered.. But able to work..

My voice is still retarded, I look like a mess.. Have some red spots in my eyes.. so as a result I look like a monster.. But I don't have the energy to care...

We moved everything yesterday and the weather was bad... rainy.. After moving all our stuff me and my sister had to feed the guys as our appreciation for the help.. we went and ate at a chinese buffet.. Thx to Ren, Tony, Lin, Tuan and Kimmie for yesterday.. Don't know what to do without you guys =) Btw.. The moving went really fast.

The new house is not ready yet, we still have to repaint the wall cause some dude messed it up.. I want to kick his no-no place... Even my younger sister would have done a better job..

But our house feels cozy and warm.. I really like it, it feels like my home now.. Just hate the paint on my bedroom wall.. Yellow? seriously!? oh well.. Have to bare with it a little longer.. Then I will paint it white with a baby pink front wall..

And u know who greeted us when we got home? Mr.Big Spider at the door way.. It was HUGE! Nice greeting hehe.. not so funny.. But I had a great sleep last night.. didn't want to get up at all..

Please go away

When I look in the mirror, I don't see myself anymore.. I'm not sure if it's a good or a bad thing.. But I know for sure that I don't like this person I see .. I detest her.. a picture reflecting someone, something I can't live with.. I wish her to vanish... Please be deleted from my vision...

2 days ago I had my worst emotional breakdown ever.. Nowhere to go.. No one to turn to.. it was me against them all..

A deep scar doesn't heal on it's own.. the scar will get deeper with time..

Are u crying? Darling, tears will get u nowhere.. no one can hear you? no one's gonna be there listening to your crying serenade? Your voice becomes ignored.. The silence will eat u up... bit by bit.. in the end you'll get conquered by the darkness..

Tomorrow will be a better day

Pain? I'm laughing at it.. fears? I'm facing it.. I only exist in this cruel world just to create misery.. Deep in my heart I'm holding a grudge... A grudge I can't let go..

When laughter can't be faked anymore, the only things that are left out are tears.. I close my eyes and pretend it never happened.. I open my eyes slowly, *sigh* it's still there..

How many times haven't you fought for your own happiness?
Somewhere on the endless road I kinda gave up.. I'm about to break down into small fragile pieces.. I tenderly bit my lower lips and slowly close my eyes thinking, "tomorrow will be a better day".

I don't have the strength, the missing pieces that would put me together.. I still wonder who I am and why I exist in this competitive world of comparison.. The best adapted survives and those who are weak fades away..

LIFE

Life is sorrow, life is pain..
Life can make you truly insane..
You'll get wounded, you'll get hurt.
It's nothing you can rub out, like some dirt..
You fight for yourself, you fight for your dreams..
But fighting to survive is what it all seems..
When is enough, when will it end?
When will those tender wounds mend?
Life is winning, life is loosing
But sometimes it's all confusing
Life has a reason, life has a goal
It gave you a brain, a heart and a soul.
Believe in yourself, trust your heart
Even though, you're falling apart...

Almost recovered

I'm awake.. been sleeping a lot... really.. never slept so much in my life..

I guess I have to work today even though I'm not completely healthy.. I can walk, work and talk.. that's probably all I need.. But I think I shouldn't over work myself.. sometimes it's hard.. and very stressful.. But I'm amazed how fast I recovered from being sick.. Yesterday I was "can't walk, can't eat, can't do nothing"... Now I'm just a little weak but I can do stuff.. No sympathy..

All I needed was a lot of sleep.. and some nasty Theraflu, which gave me and my sister vomiting reflex.. we ended up coughing and laughing at the same time.. The faces we made weren't sweet I could tell... It tasted like vomit blended with whatever flavor that came with it and last but not least, bitter medicine.. you know when you take medicine it's just a teaspoon or something.. this Thereflu thing is a whole cup!!! I had to swallow a whole cup of nasty vomit-blended-stuff...

Right now I'm drinking camomile tea and eating cereal.. yes cereal!! since when did I ate cereal with milk?? since now I guess... I can't remember when was the last time I ate cereal.. I think I was 6 or 7 years old, which were 12 years ago...

Movies I wanna see

A Christmas Carol 3D
New Moon
Ninja Assassin (Bi Rain is in it!!)
The fourth kind
Avatar

My view of Love

I haven't lost faith in love.. I've hurt, I've been hurt, I've loved, I've been loved..

One day my savior will show up..

According to me, Love is something beautiful.. something irreplaceable.. Each love has it's own thorns, it's own unique pattern.. once you've experienced it you can never let go of the feeling no matter how much it hurts to get there.. Love makes you feel the butterflies flying around through your entire body, the desire of being close to the person you love is undeniable. You can't stop thinking of the person that made such an impact to your heart..

You can't grow in love until you give it away. The more you give it away, the more it returns to you.

Love is understanding each other, learning each others strengths and weaknesses.. Love desires nothing more than what is best for the other person and will provide it in any possible way. .. Love.. is something you can't live without... finding someone you can never imagine to let go..

There are to many words to describe love.. But all the descriptions in the world are not enough to explain it.. But just by placing your hand on the heart feeling every heartbeat makes you understand when you're in love.. The sound of the heart is not very flattering, but of all the sound in the world, the sound of the heart has the most beautiful meaning in it..

I got sick

I finally got sick.. this is really bad.. yesterday I didn't feel good at all in the afternoon.. I planned to stop working at 8 pm.. Cause I started to feel nauseous.. but then I got a request from one of my regular customer.. so I had to do her nails.. After doing my last customer, my nose began to flow and there came tears from my eyes..I started to sweat and got so dizzy.. Thank God I was wearing a mask.. cause I felt like a complete loser... hehe

After the ride home I walked like a zombie.. went to the bathroom.. threw up whatever I ate.. brushed my teeth then went straight to bed.. I slept for 12 hours.. woke up today at 9 something, still had a big headache and felt no good at all.. My night was bad.. hot cold, hot cold.. my sister bought me some medicine.. drank it, then went to sleep again..

It's funny how my appetite has changed completely.. usually I can eat anything at anytime.. but now when I think about food I just wanna throw up.. all I've been eating is plain rice soup.. just because it doesn't have any flavor.. I rather not eat anything, but my sister told me I had to eat cause I can't drink medicine and eat nothing.. it's good to have a caring sister.. or else it would have been worse..

It's Friday the 13th today... just wanna remind u lol...

At work

I feel like I've increased my skills a lot.. Which makes me really happy and relieved.. Got new customers today..

Everything tastes so bad.. I'm definitely not a picky person.. but after having Theraflu, everything makes me wanna throw up.. Even the sweetest sugar turned bitter.. and my throat is itching even more now..

I only get sick once a year.. Haven't got sick this year yet... so maybe it's about time.. lol..


I want to eat something.. or at least chew on something.. but don't feel to eat anything at all.. cause I keep imagining the Theraflu.. maybe it's my throat that creates the taste..

this reminds me of when I coughed constantly 1 week straight 2 years ago.. My sister got so annoyed by me lol.. couldn't speak at all.. coughed everytime I opened my mouth,, I got so exhausted by that time.. hope it never gonna happen again..

I really want to get into my own bed and rest.. hate this weather.. makes me so sad..

Thursday

New day.. new challenges..

Today I woke up with my throat itching and I cough a little.. not good.. My sister is really sick and we slept in the same bed.. which means that the chances of me being sick is highly increasing..

I didn't want to sleep on the coach alone.. I'm still scared..

I got to drink Theraflu which was really nasty.. I can still feel the taste of the bitterness going through my dear throat.. it smelled good though.. thought it was gonna taste like the smell.. but to bad appearances are deceptive..

When the world was in our hands

There are moments in life when I feel that I have everything in my hand.. so happy, so careless.. I'm longing to turn back the time.. To fool around with my friends..to trip and fall, to make wounds and scratches that would heal, to make my clothes dirty by rolling over the hills..

I'm also longing to move forward the time.. when I know everything's gonna be better.. Cause right now.. living in the between is somehow melancholy..

Pictures from 2005

Love this girl from the bottom of my heart♥

The silence plays tricks

Sitting here alone in the living room with a hot coffee.. it's cold and pitch black outside.. The wind is blowing hard.. still..it's so quiet.. I should be scared.. especially after the movie paranormal activity I saw last week... But strangely I'm not.. Maybe I'm not scared anymore, maybe I've accepted that we're living in the world with "others".. Usually my mind is playing games with me..

..............Something just fell at the hallway.. damn.. Now I'm scared.... it must have been my purse... I hate it when it's quiet like this.. cause I'm aware of every single sound... But at the same time.. I love the feeling.. The feeling of being alone for a while.. When I can concentrate and just think...

I hear some birds chirping.. it's getting lighter outside..

Maybe I still fear that something, someone's out there watching me.. I'm not afraid of paranormal things cause I know we're living in a world full of it.. I'm just afraid of seeing what I don't wanna see..

New TV

Today I've been doing a lot of errands with my uncle and sis.. and yeah, just bought a new TV.. Now we can play games with better quality.. Rock Band!

My sister is sick.. 102 degree.. it's really bad.. tried to cook some rice soup.. actually my first time doing it.. Hope she'll get better soon..

Can't wait until we move into the new house.. moving in the 15th..

Going to sleep.. Good night and sweet dreams..