A busy day

Before work

Finally at home..

wtf.... We were really really busy today.. shouldn't people be at home and get cozy in this weather? No.. people got this brilliant idea to get their nails, toes, eyelashes - you name it.. done.

There were people sitting for hours just to get their pedicure.. I swear their feet shrinked into raisins or something.. still they left our shop with happy toes.. we had to call for reinforcement.. 3 other people came and helped us out.. customers just came in one after another.. kick them out! but of course we couldn't do that.. I'm glad most of the people are our regular customers.. so they were very patient..

10h of beauty sleep

Never seen an eskimo making piece sign?

Good morning.. *yawn*

been sleeping a lot.. I feel 100% recovered.. Let's start this day with a cup of coffee and a shower...

Freezing

What a day.. been at home all day! Didn't go to work because of the snow..

It's been very relaxing.. But somehow I feel isolated.. Well.. I have nothing sensible to write about.. so lets just end this entry now.. gonna continue watching Naruto <3

Eating

eating my dinner right now.. which consists a piece of bread and some Philadelphia.. actually pretty yummy..

omg.. I found a jumping spider in my room while cleaning it today!!

it jumped so far from one place to another.. of course I let out a little scream...

my sister sprayed a lot of bug spray on it.. but the spider was really persistent and kept running around.. so my sister smashed it.. of c I had to take care of the rest, by putting on some rubber gloves and tons of paper towels.. I had to pick up the hideous corpse..

The snow was supposed to be heart-shaped..

Good morning.. or maybe good evening for the Swedish peops..
The News said that it's gonna be a winter storm.. or something like that.. So I went to Macy's and bought myself a jacket.. It was a big sale on it hehe.. I saved 200 dollars on that jacket.. the original price was 259$.. only paid 59$..

I thought I didn't need a warm jacket through this winter.. so I sucked it up and passed last snow storm with my hands and body almost freezed to ice.. don't know why I hesitated to buy me a jacket.. well well now it's done..

back to work

Sleepy

it's almost 2 am.. time goes by really fast nowadays.. week after week.. nothing happens.. same old shit..

A normal day for Mimi:
Waking up, make myself some coffee.. go to work, going home, working out, watching Naruto, sleep.. it's been going on like this for weeks now..

Yesterday me and my sis went shopping. bought some clothes for a party we can't even attend.. They had good sales.. I bought 2 long sleeves at Abercrombie, a skirt at Bebe and a Party top at Forever 21..

Wherever I go I see Valentine stuff.. pleeease give me a break.. Valentine may be a really great day for couples.. but for us singles it sucks.. I can't say it's over rated because it's a line that only losers would use... feel for me please ..I would love to be one of the people celebrating Valentine.. maybe next year.. or the year after.. or the year after after.. Right now I have to concentrate on other things.. such as how to ruin someone's life or getting myself one..

However.. Valentine's day is also Chinese New Year.. Thank God.. it prevents me from feeling lonely cause we were planning on going to the temple where everybody gonna gather together.. The temple is such a holy place.. so no lovey dovey hehehe.

I wish things were a little bit different..

Beyond the surface

Why am I so weak? when I don't have the power to encounter problems I'm lying in my bed crying..I'm crying until my pillow get soaked wet.. then I turn the pillow and continue on the other side..

That was before...

Now.. I have to say.. I get better and better suppressing my feelings.. My tears has lost it's value.. Life could have been different if I didn't try to satisfy anyone.. If I only thought about myself.. Some decisions should be made by heart, but weren't..

Sometimes I wonder if I'm not good enough.. I doubt myself all the time.. what's wrong with me? am I to ugly, to short, to fat, to clumsy or just simply not good enough? I try to change.. I try to make myself better in every single way.. I'm aiming for perfection.. just to be good enough.. Just to satisfy everyone.. It's hurting me..

It's a scary thought that all the problems would disappear if I made myself disappear... help me

..

I don't know.. Even if it's nothing.. I need my own privacy, my own territory.. I don't wanna view my life to somebody else as an open book... I don't need anybody to put their foot in my life and trying to change it.. I am fine with things the way they are.. except the pain.. but it's just something I have to endure.. then please give me a break!

it's nothing that goes away fast.. it's a long process.. Just because I don't show or say anything doesn't mean that I'm ok.. I am just ok enough to live the day..

Lately my mood has been really down.. it's getting harder to fake a smile... even my customer noticed today that I was really different.. she said: it's not like you at all being so down..

well I woke up feeling like a zombie.. my body could barely move.. Been working really hard.. Yesterday and today.. and earlier this week..

Aren't u satisfied already? I am doing things I've been told to do.. I am doing things against my will.. I'm holding back my frustration and anger.. and still it's not enough.. What's the point of living if you can't even decide over your own life?

Yes.. I have no friends.. no contacts.. why should I have a phone? All I've been doing is working.. 7 days a week.. I don't even have a day off. Even so I can't be given that little privacy of my own life..

How can I make friends without a phone? I keep hearing that I'm 19 about to be 20.. and I should know better.. I want to know why I exist in this lifetime.. but why it's so hard to just leave the earth..

Nightly thoughts

It's the end of one decade but also a beginning of another..

I don't know whether I'm happy or not.. let's say.. in my current state I'm lost.. I've reached a certain age ( about to be 20 ) which means that I have more responsibility, but also I'm old enough to decide over myself..

Through my life I've done a lot of things that we call "mistakes". But actually I've never regretted anything I've done in life.. cause the so called "mistakes" I've made are according to me, just opportunities to learn things.. I rather do "mistakes" than keep wondering how my life would be if I did this and that..

You can travel back in time.. but never change it's events.. I've been thinking a lot about my childhood lately.. Even though we didn't have much, I could feel true happiness.. I was believing in the tooth fairy. I dreamt about being a princess who was longing for her white knight to show up and take her far away.. I was sitting on mommy's lap and telling her stories of what I wanted to become when I grew up.. I was a day dreamer, innocent and care-free.. I was believing in happily ever after..

As I grew up I lost my innocence.. I realized that the world isn't made up of rainbows and sunshine.. My view of life became more gloomy and I learned how to hate and hurt people.. In fact I came to a phase in life where I didn't wanna exist no more but to scared to end it..

I'm still confused..

I know this is a pointless entry.. But writing down my thoughts somehow makes me feel better.

Revive him please

Can't believe Gaara died..!!!! hhuhuhuhu I hate it... Why why why?!?! So sad ='(

However.. Monday was my sister's birthday. she is finally 12..

I've just been working today.. went to the gym after work.. I was slow today.. only managed 3 miles..

Virus

My laptop is infected again!!! and I just formatted my harddrive 2 days ago.. Think my laptop is about to reach an end.. have to format it again now.. can't log into facebook.. lol.. sry can't reply any messages.. sweet dreams!

Baby are you down down down

Just got home..looking like this..

Today was a really busy day.. Where do all the customers come from? They're sitting and waiting for hours just to get their nails done.. However.. I'm done for today.... watching and reading some anime before sleep.. Love ya!

5 miles

Lying in my bed watching Naruto...

Today me and my sis went to do some laundry.. there is a gas station not far away from the laundry place.. I walked to the gas station to buy a drink.. I was alone cause my sister had to go and get the car cleaned.. I can tell u.. I felt really unsafe walking over there even though it only took a minute to walk..

In Sweden I could feel safe anywhere I went.. I walked to school 30 minutes every day.. I walked to my friends.. I walked to downtown.. Never did I ever felt scared.. But over here...I feel that they gonna ambush me at any second..

Anyways.. I'm really improving at work.. One step closer to my goal.. Now I can call the nails I'm doing - perfect.. which makes me really excited to do my upcoming customers..

Today I ran 5 miles.. Felt really good!! Cause I've been so so so unhealthy.. been eating chips, candies and cookies every day hihi... damn the sugar addiction really hits me.. But now when I start to work out again I feel more healthier and I'm eating healthier..

Gonna continue on Naruto.. Sweet dreams <3

You reached for my hand.. but touched my heart

Today I've been working as usually.. Bought 3 books.. One is about the human brain and interesting stuff such as why u lose u car keys but never forget how to drive.. one is about The grammar devotional.. I kinda like reading to learn stuff.. Either that or Manga..

I went and bought my sister The Sims 3.. she really wanted it and asked if I wanna pay half the price and share with her.. I told her weeks ago.. hell no.. Don't know why I changed my mind and paid for the whole game instead.. it just got into me.

My best friend just received the Christmas card I sent her.. she started to cry even though she is the toughest girl I've ever known on earth.. she didn't know if she cried of happiness or because she missed me so damn much.. She is the last person I thought would ever cry.. She's the reason behind my personality and humor.. without her I don't think I would be the same person as I am today... I love her to death..

maaan.. There are no words to describe how much I miss her.. Even now I get teary when thinking about her.. I might as well pay her the whole ticket over here.. but there are so much I need to pay for now.. so I can only provide her with half of the ticket which is already 500 dollars... I think I've already managed to fill my piggy bank with 500..

I hate being human.. there are to much feelings involved.. what hurts the most is the happy moments that I can never take back

.. it really hurts down to my core.. it's so painful that I'm about to throw up..

Sweet dreams

Pictures

Just transfered all my pictures to the external hard drive.. it has a memory of 1tb which is 1000gb.. I've already filled it with 70gb of pictures.. lol...

You opened up my eyes

Wooah.. I almost forgot how good I can see in my glasses...but maaan.. I feel dizzy walking around in those.. I only use them at night time while in the car..

I got my glasses because I had chronic headaches back in school.. I was straining my eyes to much.. and the stress made it worse..

Right now I'm gonna read a little... been watching Naruto since I came home lol..

Been working hard today.. The nails I do comes out really good.. But I feel that they are not perfect.. I'm not satisfied with my work.. Since I was a kid I was always aiming for perfection.. I kept painting and painting until the paintings took my breath away..My passion is art.. I love beautiful fairy-like things.. I played games until I beat every single person.. I kept practicing on stuff that I didn't actual like.. just to beat them guys.. Even in school.. I studied until I was sure of getting a perfect score..

The only thing I lack of is talking.. I can write you an endless essay.. but I can't raise my voice.. I hated to present stuff in front of class.. it's like a nightmare for me.. Thank god it's over now..

I was playing with photoshop at the age of 11.. while opening the program I was so lost.. but it opened up a whole new world for me.. I was always curious of learning new things on my own... At the age of 6.. My family got a computer.. I was clicking on every icon and searched through the whole system.. just to see how things were working.. I considered it as fun.. On other devices we had at home.. I had to test all the buttons.. It was my way to increase my knowledge..

Another day has passed

There are warm memories even in the cold winter

Today we've been doing a lot of errands.. We also bought some loudspeakers.. Or my uncle found them for us.. they were on sale.. 1200 was the original price.. But we only paid 580 for them.. Now we can sing Karaoke.. and play rockband lol..

We also went to Wal Mart and bought additionally 80 cloth hangers...

It's so damn cold.. I hate the weather... we're expecting snow on thursday.. but just a little.. Can't imagine how Sweden is like now... I need a warmer jacket.. but been to lazy to buy one.. and I kinda wish that the winter gonna be over soon..

In Sweden winter is looooooooooooong.. Comparing the US with Sweden.. Winter is really short over here..

I'm hungry again.. let's see what I can find to eat at work...

later!

A cup of coffee please

My feet are a little soar.. Need to slow down a little with the running... nooot!

Maybe I need better running shoes.. Working out at night makes me hungry in the morning..

I need coffee.. but we're out of coffee at home...

Even if I deny it.. I'm addicted to coffee.. well not that super addicted.. but it feels weird without having coffee in the morning.. Coffee completes my day...

Smile for a brighter life

Taking one day at a time.. Trying to overlook the sadness and only show my surrounding the best out of me.. There is no reason to suffer myself with misery..

Muah!

Bite me

1h 30 min until work..

Spaghetti for breakfast

I'm soo full.. just cooked some spaghetti bolognese for today so we can bring to our nail shop.. Cause we need to eat more home-cooked meals.. Lately we've been buying fast food.. which is mostly fried stuff.. or we've been eating noodles.. To much to do.. to little time...

I wonder if I can reach my goal today by running 5 miles... and not eating snacks lololol... I had to eat snacks yesterday..

Right now I'm just at home.. gonna work at 2 pm.. Cause I have some stuff to do at home.. and I need a little rest from working so hard..

later!

In my bed

zuuup! I know my room isn't the cleanest room in the world.. the bed is all messed up.. looks like I had fun in my bed.. j/k.. I never make my bed in the morning.. Just took a shower and blow-dried my hair.. and I do not like the colors of my room... forgot I have to put up my curtains hehe..

After work today, me and my sis went to the gym. Arrived at 9.15 pm.. worked out until 10.30 pm.. I didn't ran 5 miles. damn it.. So disappointed at myself.. instead I ran 4 miles.. did 100 sit-ups and 100 jumps on the jump rope.. I guess all the Thanksgiving/Christmas/New Year - food slowed me down and decreased my powers,..

New week

This morning I went shopping for my younger sister.. bought her a jacket, a dress-shirt, and an adorable skirt.. She's about the same size as me.. Maybe a little bit taller and skinnier... yep.. it sucks that your 11-years old sister is growing taller than a 19-years old pint-sized-midget...

The high heels must have been the greatest invention of all years.. What would I do without these heels hehe.. probably feel like a flat-footed duck running around.. When I talk to people who are much taller than me.. I don't feel like they're taking me seriously.. cause I have to look up to the sky talking to them..

Me and my lovely sister in Atlanta.. Miss her like crazy.. I want that hug again =(

Well.. at work right now.. it's already 3.45 pm.. yes. just 5 more hours until I hit the gym..

Goals for today: 5 miles.. it's about 8 km..

Trying to get fit again

Unhealthy week over.. I ate as much I could this week hehe.. cause the beginning of next week, we gonna start working out and be healthy again.. I wonder how long that will last.. cause I can't really cut down on my snacking :P

My face is big as a balloon now wahhaha.. but it will soon shrink down.. I've gained 7 pounds... 7 pounds!!!! can u believe it.. it all went to my face.. j/k.. This is gonna be hard.. gonna run 5 miles tomorrow after work.. can't wait...

btw.. I just took off my piercing.. not gonna wear my piercing no more.. tired of it.. I took the piercing when I was 14.. I remember when me and my best friend got our parents permission.. we were so excited. I loved my piercing.. I thought it was so coooool.. But I guess I've growned from it now.. I don't feel like wearing it no more.. I'm about to turn 20.. not a teen no more.. not saying that it's something wrong wearing piercings when you're older.. but this is just me..

Look at me

Baby-shower

wzuuup! I'm so tired right now.. Yesterday I worked until 7.30 pm.. We went to my uncle's place.. He had a baby-shower for my new-born cousin..

After the baby-shower we went home and put together my sister's closet.. it took hours.. On wednesday I'm gonna paint my room.. White and one pink front wall.. I'm so tired of the yellow color.. makes me depressed..

2010

My New Year didn't start very well.. I feel like the bad luck is all over me..

I had a weird dream... about my teeth.. my teeth were so bad that it hurt in the dream.. I had a big cavity.. I found it interesting.. So I googled it up.. This is what it said:

To dream of rotten teeth shows that you have been telling someone a lie or using your smooth words for getting your own way no matter what.

Bad tooth: a symbol of a painful part of one’s feelings, life or relationships; angry or regretful words.

This is scary.. I keep thinking about it.. I can't honestly say that I don't have any flaws.. But I never thought about my actual actings.. Maybe I'm just a fake person who use my smooth words to get whatever I want and hope that no one ever finds out.. Or maybe my dream was just random.. I'm so hoping for category no.2..

This morning a customer I came in.. I just had to fix her toes without charging her.. Bad sign.. not mentioning I spilled coffee on myself.. I got so paranoid that I have to look up if this year is a bad year for me.. Luckily it's not..

The Horse
Good news for the horses! Year 2010 might be one of the smoothest years for you. You will find bonds between your friends and relatives being built fairly easily. Keep a clear head when making decisions for you will find that plenty of decisions may sound familiar to one another but with very different outcomes. You may also tend to overfeed yourself in the upcoming year so be sure to keep on a healthy diet and exercise regularly