I don't know.. Even if it's nothing.. I need my own privacy, my own territory.. I don't wanna view my life to somebody else as an open book... I don't need anybody to put their foot in my life and trying to change it.. I am fine with things the way they are.. except the pain.. but it's just something I have to endure.. then please give me a break!
it's nothing that goes away fast.. it's a long process.. Just because I don't show or say anything doesn't mean that I'm ok.. I am just ok enough to live the day..
Lately my mood has been really down.. it's getting harder to fake a smile... even my customer noticed today that I was really different.. she said: it's not like you at all being so down..
well I woke up feeling like a zombie.. my body could barely move.. Been working really hard.. Yesterday and today.. and earlier this week..
Aren't u satisfied already? I am doing things I've been told to do.. I am doing things against my will.. I'm holding back my frustration and anger.. and still it's not enough.. What's the point of living if you can't even decide over your own life?
Yes.. I have no friends.. no contacts.. why should I have a phone? All I've been doing is working.. 7 days a week.. I don't even have a day off. Even so I can't be given that little privacy of my own life..
How can I make friends without a phone? I keep hearing that I'm 19 about to be 20.. and I should know better.. I want to know why I exist in this lifetime.. but why it's so hard to just leave the earth..
Life is harsh Isn't it ? and I feel you on the working situation.. in the service business stressing and working long days and almost everyday. I can say I got the same life, alot of customer says why they see me so often and If I dont have any friends or social life or school.. and the answer that I can only say is.. "Yeah working is all I got until I start school and no I dont have any friends cause of my working hours and days.. no time to socialize with people" But I do have a phone tho lol .. good to use incase something happens you know.. like the car broke down or stuff like that very handy ^^ My dad always says the same too lol your around 20 bla bla why you always sit at the computer when you get home from work (that should be around 4-5 am when i get home from work) and I use to sit to 6-7 am.. and whys that? well cause in the Internet is where i can find my "friends",play HoN with Nam ... SOMETHING that I treasure in america.. CAUSE I GOT NOTHING here !!! but people dont understand.. cause they only see the outside.. but not the inside.. hope you will do good :) just my 2 cents ^^ Cheer up
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